Why I Struggle to Throw Away Teddies and Dolls – And What That Says About Hoarding

By Lizzie, Founder of Tembo Cleaning Services Ltd🧸 #HomeNotHoard #SmallStepsToFreedom

There’s a particular scene in Toy Story 3 that haunts me. It’s the one where the toys, discarded and forgotten, are trapped in the incinerator. They hold hands, face the fire, and you feel every inch of their fear. Of course, we know they’re not real. But the pain still lingers.

That’s the best way I can explain why, even as an adult, I’ve found it deeply distressing to throw away dolls or teddies.

I’ve always known the toys aren't alive. I understand, logically, that they don’t have feelings. But parting with them has never felt straightforward. It’s not just about memories – it’s about connection. About not wanting something that once offered comfort, safety, or familiarity to be tossed away like rubbish.

And here’s where it gets harder to explain…

Sometimes, after donating or discarding a soft toy, I’ve felt a profound sense of guilt. Almost as if I’d abandoned it. I’d imagine it being lonely. Or wondering why it wasn’t needed anymore. I know it’s just fabric and stuffing – but it can still stir very real emotions. Sometimes I’ve felt discarded too in those moments. As though by throwing the item away, I’m reliving a part of myself being thrown away too.

I share this not for sympathy, but because this is a real experience for many people who live with hoarding disorder or chronic disorganisation.

In my work through Tembo Cleaning Services, I meet individuals and families who struggle deeply to let go of belongings that others might see as junk. But often, those items represent emotional lifelines: companions during dark times, anchors in a chaotic world, or even silent witnesses to childhoods that didn’t feel safe.

There’s a name for this phenomenon: anthropomorphism – attributing human emotions or life to inanimate objects. It’s something most children do. But for some of us, especially those with trauma, loneliness, or attachment wounds, that child-like empathy for objects never really goes away. Instead, it embeds itself into how we view the things we own.

And when that happens, decluttering isn’t just about “getting rid of stuff.” It becomes an emotional, painful process that needs compassion – not judgment.

This is why I speak so openly about hoarding – and why Tembo Cleaning Services approaches our work with empathy, education, and respect.

Behind every pile of belongings is a story. Behind every soft toy, sometimes, is a little piece of someone’s heart.

If this resonates with you – whether personally or professionally – you’re not alone. If you're working with someone struggling with hoarding, remember: it’s rarely about laziness or mess. Sometimes, it’s about not wanting to let go of something that once stood in for love.

Let’s keep talking about it.

🧠 #HoardingAwareness #Neurodiversity #MentalHealthMatters🪜 #SmallStepsToFreedom #HomeNotHoard📍#Eastleigh #Romsey #ChandlersFord #HampshireSupport

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How I would imagine a teddy would feel if it were indeed disregarded and thrown away.